Do You Have an Anger Trigger?

Have you been angry in the last 24 hours?   Are you an angry person? There is a big difference in those statements. In the homeless shelter where I volunteer,  a few men are in a constant state of discontent and anger. I consider them to be angry people-a lifestyle. We all will experience anger at some point and in most cases, the emotion will dissipate over time. Anger will not define us. But even then, uncontrolled bursts of anger can lead to some disappointing and embarrassing outcomes. Right?

Anger most often occurs when something we value is challenged by a person or an event:

•  my competence when my manager appears to give preference to a co-worker;
• my sense of fairness when someone cuts in line at the Safeway checkout stand
• my dignity when unjustly criticized or verbally abused;
• my need to be financially secure but the car keeps breaking down

Anger expressed is like the tip of the iceberg which is seen. But the real size of the iceberg is below the waterline. Emotions that lie below the surface represent “triggers” that lead to anger expressed.  Examples of triggers known or unknown: fear, disappointment, personal inadequacy, neglect, blocked goals, hurt feelings, pride, isolation, feelings of being marginalized or devalued or a sense of fairness violated.  If I may ask, do you have one or more of the triggers listed above?  Someone in your daily life?

I will soon begin teaching a course for men in the shelter on Victory over Anger. My approach will be to identify types of anger, identify the triggers and then explore how to manage, reduce or eliminate ongoing anger.

Goals of the course for the men:

1. Identify when anger occurs and what were perceived factors for the anger
2. Define, discover and discuss personal triggers (perhaps more than one)
3. Develop a process to identify and neutralize triggers as they pop up
4. Establish new thinking and reaction strategies that lead to self-control

The men will learn that “anger is a choice and that no person or event can make them angry.” Do you agree?   Each of us choose when and where we will let our emotions take us. It is critical that we examine the circumstances, gather information and take time to process what is happening. There are two sides to every situation.   In our next blog, solutions such as ”focus,” “information gathering” and “love” will be outlined.  At Living Perspectives, we have been privileged to take many people through a process of managing personal issues related to relationships, career and life purpose.

One of the early church leaders wrote:   “Know this, my beloved brothers: let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger; for the anger of man does not produce the righteousness of God.” James 1:19-20